Somthing must have been in the air today. Someone at church said I LOOKED happy, that I was glowing. Then I realized...I really did feel happy. It was the first time in a long time I had felt that way at church. It wasn't just me though. The kids were more hyper than usual...I had to take them on a walk, haha. They loved that.
I really can't think of anything to write. I must be really tired or somthing!
I'm going to miss this place. The people, the trees, the eh-hem... lack of snow. But there will be a lot of good things where I'm going: more family, the closer neighborhoods, LOTS of snow. I say snow like it's the real reason I'm going.
Hmmm.
Well. That can sure be annoying. I'm the type of person who HATES to wait...yes, I'm impatient. Very! And when it comes to someone not responding soon after I write them, well, I don't like it. -.-
It's like they have something better to do than sit there and talk to me. ;) Like right now, I am trying to talk to someone and they are completely missing the point because they are focusing more on playing a stupid video game (no offense to all you other players).
I THOUGHT you wanted to talk to me, so why are you doing THAT? It's like you want to pull my strings, make me mad at you again. Well, it's working. (Good thing you don't read my blog, haha).
'Til tomorrow.
I just got back from a HS choir concert. I got to sing one song as a Chorus Alumni. I thought I would cry because I missed it, all the concerts and excitement. But I didn't. It was a real eye opener for me. I got to see that there really is more to life than just the "most valuable singer" or the "best performer". There is no "best voice" award in the real world...but, there are simple accomplishments and satisfaction.
As I got to spend some time with old friends, I learned what the hottest trends were, and the latest updates on couples...but does that really matter for what is in store for ME? No.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, and today is a gift (that is why we call it the present)" -Laura Roberts, Choir Director.
Why think about yesterday, with no hope of ever changing it, when there is a gift right in front of me?
~Right now~
I have taken to listening to different music lately. It helps me forget all the stress, all the pain. It helps me see. What's the truth? I'm still here, in the middle...walking one step at a time.
But am I really getting anywhere? Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I am. Can you really eat an elephant all at once? No. You eat it one bite at time. I guess that's a good thing. If you take life all in one shot, then you might miss the best parts of all: Love, Joy, Faith, and Accomplishment. The hard stuff helps you see the good, because without it, you wouldn't know the difference. How can there be light without dark? We wouldn't know would we?
Everyone has someone in their life who is just pining for attention. That certain person is like the thorn in your side you could never get rid of...the rock holding down your balloon, when you wanted it to soar into the atmosphere.
This person also happens to ignore the crap out of you because they are upset about something you said, then suddenly, out of nowhere tries too hard for you to notice them again. Cheap. That's right, I called them cheap. All they want is a little attention 'til they get someone else, then they snatch their heart back and say 'too bad'. On TOP of that, they lie to everyone about what "really" happened. Ha! Like that'll help you.
Well, I'm done venting, for now. ;) Until tomorrow.
I feel so full of answers right now.
I have a lot to do tomorrow, I guess. People to talk to and plans to make. I thought when I grew up it would come gradually, but it hasn't. Everything is rushing at me all at once and it is getting hard to grasp the idea of it. But I can do it. I know I will make it...there is no doubt about that. If I "fail" this time, then there will be a better chance of survival for the next, because I will have learned something new about life.
At times demons of doubt will cloud around me, but I will have the light to chase them away. I CAN do this. I have enough, just enough faith in myself that I KNOW I can do this.
The hard part is keeping my chin up when it's hard...but whatever, bring it! ;)
Lately I have been thinking how hard it would be to do something without the will to get up and try again. We were given the strength to not give up for a reason. He wants us to make a difference in the evil world out there. They say we are a chosen generation. Maybe I'll give it a shot.
So here I go. I'm going to stand up. I'm going to go change the world.
But how to do it? Do I stand on the side of a street and hold a sign protesting whatever the current issue may be, or do I run for something in the community with the hope of making a difference? No. I stand a little taller, I smile at the sad looking lady across the aisle. I set an example, even if I don't think someone is watching, because someone always is. He is.
